Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize
