He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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