Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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