I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
