i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
it glows. i had to have it.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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