I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Redeem this text for a blowjob
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
