i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
