she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
