well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
