Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
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