Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
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