why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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