im drinking this country out of the recession.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
