The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
