my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
