An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
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