3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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