I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize
