Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
