You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
