after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
