oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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