I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
