Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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