My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Nobody cheats on THIS.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
