Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
3pm strippers are depressing
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
