my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize