Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Just high enough for therapy.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
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