I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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