one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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