my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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