Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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