you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
