He kissed a someone with a penis
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
