Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
