i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Randomize
