you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
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