wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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