she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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