WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
