Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
