I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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