All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
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