u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I wanna passion pit in your ass
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
