HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Randomize
