Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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