I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
