How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Randomize
