apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
