His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Just invented taco cereal.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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