I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
