The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
