I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Randomize
